Trevor came home from the church with these in hand. “Fall Pick Me Up” they’re called. He had a fall candle for me, too. 4.5 months postpartum with our 2nd baby, this is what I needed today. It took me 5 months after Gideon before I began to feel like myself again. I was sad over nothing and everything and I wasn’t sure why.
With Asher, I understand it deeper, the postpartum journey. I expected the sadness and I knew it would last longer than the 2 weeks the nurse told me I should expect. I knew boundaries over my new baby were healthy and I didn’t feel guilty this time for not showing up to everything when I was just too tired. I didn’t feel guilty when everyone wanted to hold my baby but instead I held him close. I’m a more confident mama this time around, but postpartum emotions are still real. They are still here. They last longer than 2 weeks. But it seems like after those first few weeks we are expected to be back to our normal selves. The self before 40 plus weeks of pregnancy and hours of (sometimes traumatizing) labor. The self before we gained pregnancy weight and now or bellies are a little bit more softer than they used to be.
A few months after Asher, a man from church asked me how I was doing, how postpartum has been. Because he remembered there was a sadness after baby. & he cared. I was caught off guard that he had been the only one (besides my DR & husband) to ask me about it. But I was thankful. Because it reminded me that it’s normal to feel sad in the midst of such joy. And today was one of those days. But Asher kept looking at me with a really big smile through my tears and Trevor reminded me, God knew we needed our Asher in this season. So full of joy. And a reminder that Father is with us. And that is what his name means. Asher, happy/blessed. Emmanuel, God with us.
So if you know a woman who just had a baby a week a month or a year(s) ago, ask her how she is. Bring her a meal. Send her a gift, a card, a reminder that she’s doing well. A reminder that she’s seen in the midst of what feels like an unseen season. If you know her real well, offer to babysit. And if she says no thanks, just keep showing up. Sit with her a while, and just keep showing up.