nothing under the sun

I’ve always loved the poetic sound of Ecclesiastes. I love that out of everything he could have asked for, Solomon asks for wisdom. I love that because the Lord delighted in him for this request, He gave him wisdom and so much more.

These days we are living in require so much wisdom from the God who knows it all. Every detail. Every thread. Every heart. Every plan. Everyone’s tomorrow. the days we are living in are no surprise to the Father. They are nothing new, He is not taken by surprise by what is going on. And that brings comfort.

Psalm 139(passion) says,

when you created me in the secret place,
carefully, skillfully shaping me from nothing to something.
You saw who you created me to be before I became me!
Before I’d ever seen the light of day,
the number of days you planned for me
were already recorded in your book.

We cannot add a single day to our lives by living in worry or fear. choosing to seek His heart and His wisdom and being consumed in His comfort and love over the corruption and fear the world feeds us should be our first resting place. I was studying Ecclesiastes and I love what I found here:

The day will give place to the night and the night again to the day. Is it summer? It will be winter. Is it winter? Stay a while, and it will be summer. Every purpose has its time. The clearest sky will be clouded, Joy succeeds sorrow; and the most clouded sky will clear up, The sun will burst from behind the cloud.

Seasons change and we will change, yet He remains the same. I am finding the ways in which all of these little things we seek after are truly meaningless. Nothing has changed in that reality since Solomon discovered it himself. We toil away after careers and money and status and possessions. And the God who created us is able to put it all to a halt in the name of a virus and bring us all the way back to the beginning again. Calling us back to a quiet place, just to be with Jesus. Relearning all of the simple things about Him we’ve seemed to have forgotten. It’s in His simple gospel that we find ourselves again. This life is a breath and Heaven is eternal, and yet He so patiently loves the people He created in a woman’s womb, that He’s breathing fire from Heaven here on earth. Just so maybe our hearts would wake up again.

I think my favorite song to worship the Father to is Build my life. I heard it again tonight and it brought me back to that place with the Lord. Putting trust in only Him is where we find ourselves unshakeable. The lyrics say:

And I will build my life upon Your love
It is a firm foundation
I will put my trust in You alone
And I will not be shaken
I will build my life upon Your love
It is a firm foundation
I will put my trust in You alone
And I will not be shaken

https://www.instagram.com/tv/B_oJp-gHQuf/?igshid=1huwauwkedjpchttps://www.instagram.com/tv/B_oJp-gHQuf/?igshid=1huwauwkedjpc

What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before; Ecclesiastes 3

blessing

From the start of the year the Lord has been stripping away every big and little thing that stands between us. And I’m so thankful for that. Even when it stings. Even when I freak out at the loss of comfort in the moment. I know He is leading my family into a closeness and stillness and intimacy that can only be found when He is truly our all. There hasn’t been a moment in these last weeks that we have gone without. The family and few body of believers we are surrounded by have overwhelmed me and I see the church that is recorded in Acts. None of them went without. I believe we are being transitioned into a time where He is calling us into the real deal. We will be able to differentiate those with a true heart of worship and fire and willingness to hand it all over and lay it all down for His name from those who are just moved in the moment of a song. Are we going to worship him even when money isn’t funneling in? And are we still willing to give even still? When everything is on hold? When the music isn’t playing to motion us into emotion? Is He truly our intimate friend? I am so over any superficial type thing and after the Only thing that runs deep and true. At the end of the day we are willing to give it all up for His sake. There is a blessing in His undoing. I read this scripture today and it blessed me:

You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. 4 “You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. 5 “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are – no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought. 6 “You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat. 7 “You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘carefull,’ you find yourselves cared for. 8 “You’re blessed when you get your inside world – your mind and heart – put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. 9 “You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family. 10 “You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.

Matthew 5 (message)

fit for a King

When I think about Mary, I am in awe of her faith. How many times, I wonder, did she want to embrace her Son in the in between moments of Him carrying the cross to the point of Him dying there? Was she boiling with rage as He was beaten? Did she flashback to the birth of her Son, remembering the very first time she held her Newborn safe in her arms? I’m sure her heart had torn in two as the One she labored was mocked and falsely accused. And as He was told to call on His Father to rescue Him and prove Himself, in the agony of watching the flesh of her flesh slowly die, I wonder if she whispered to herself, “oh, just prove yourself.” But in faith she knew who her Son was, and the way He was making for all. And even in His agony, even in their mockery, He only calls on His Father to forgive them. Bloodied and beaten and violated and accused. Only King Jesus would do this for us. Breaking bread and washing feet with a friend who He knew would betray Him. All so He could lay down His life so we can have it eternal. So little sons today may sing songs in their childlike faith to a Holy King who is so worthy of our whole lives. He died and rose and death is just that, dead & defeated.. This life is just a breath, Heaven is here and it’s calling and it’s eternal. Yeshua is alive and well and how Worthy and faithful is the lamb who made a way for us! 🌿

Death is swallowed up in victory.
O, death, where is your victory?
O, death, where is your sting?
1COR15

Slow

Standing in my clean kitchen, in front of the open window on a warm Spring day, listening to my sons play in the backyard with their daddy. Growing belly with our 3rd baby in womb and I wonder, is anything better than this? Simple. Slow. A 1.5 year olds belly laugh that takes you back to Eden. Innocent and pure and walking hand in hand with the Father. A close friend that reaches out in text just to let you know you’re thought of. Those moments you’ve told the Father you hang on to nothing and you’re so sure He is absolutely the only thing and everything, and He comes like a mighty, quiet wind and stills all things. And is He still the only thing? Is he still everything? When it feels like all fading things are stuck at a halt? I think of this upcoming Easter and all of the empty churches there will be. I can’t help but think of that first Friday, I wonder how many who said they believed question Him in the in between. Between 3 days of death to life. those who saw Him rise again must have surely put down the unbelief for good. He is good. In the in between surely He is working and surely He is for us and surely there is more than we can see while faith is rising in us. The 3rd day is on its way and King Jesus will show us the way in putting our unbelief down for good. For today, it is warm and it is slow and He is working and we can rest.

peace, be still

We brushed our teeth tonight and as we left the bathroom to crawl in bed, my son asks me to close the bathroom door. “I don’t want to be scared.” I ask him, “what are you scared of?” He tells me his fear and I remind him of God, who sends His Angels to protect him as he sleeps. There’s nothing to fear, Jesus is right here with you.

And as I lay my head down thinking over this, I’m reminded of a conversation with the Father earlier this week. “I’m afraid. What lie am I believing in this?” Afraid of an unknown future. Afraid of my husband losing work in these weeks. Afraid of the changes bound to come. Afraid of losing comfort. Afraid…

There’s a Bob Goff quote that I love that says, “Most of the things I was afraid of never happened.” After I had our 2nd son I was full of anxiety and I was afraid of everything. And everything was all of the things that were only made up in my mind. Then I came across this quote, and I realized how true it rang. We spend so much time paralyzed by “what if” fears, that often never even come to pass.

But even if they do… we follow a Father who already knew it was coming. He’s already made a way through every future thing that we will walk through. He’s in the middle of it all. So often in our comfort we proclaim that we trust Jesus in all things. We worship the Father on Sunday, singing words like “you can have it all..” but when it comes down to it, when our world is a little shaken and our comfortable life is pulled from us, do we respond with that same song? What spills out of us? Faith ..or are we crippled in fear?

And He knows we are human. We aren’t expected to be unafraid every second of the day. But we have a Father who loves to talk to us. We get to turn to Him in fear and tell Him, “I don’t want to be scared.” And I fully believe our Father who loves to be our comfort would ask you, what are you scared of? And walk you through your fears, only to replace them with His truths.

I don’t know what the future will bring, but I know that Jesus knows, and that is enough for me.

Suddenly a violent storm developed, with waves so high the boat was about to be swamped. Yet Jesus continued to sleep soundly. The disciples woke him up, saying, “Save us, Lord! We’re going to die!”

But Jesus reprimanded them. “Why are you gripped with fear? Where is your faith?” Then he stood up and rebuked the storm and said, “Be still!” And instantly it became perfectly calm. Matthew8:24-26TPT

to taste, to see

We got in the car & my husband was thinking over a Francis Chan message we just listened to. “I thought maybe I should tell you, Jesus comes before my family. …But that’s why we prosper.” like maybe he was afraid I‘d be jealous. But I’m thankful for that reality. At the end of the day, when everything is stripped away from us, when churches are shut down & the lights are turned off & there’s no awesome band to lead us into His presence, He is still present. At the end of the day, when it’s quiet & we are alone with just Jesus, we still choose Him. we worship Him with our life, as if everyday were Sunday. our children, at 1&3, sing songs we make up at home, “you’re a good good God to me..”

Lately I’ve been feeling this deeper longing and calling in my heart for Jesus. Full of wonder and adventure and butterflies everytime I seek Him. Like Something wild He is inviting us to. and I’m so overwhelmed by the way our friend Jesus is inviting our sons into friendship, too.

we went over the scripture today in Mark 5 about the bleeding woman. If only she could just touch Jesus she knew she would be healed. And I know the burning in her belly she must’ve felt just to touch Him. Just to taste a moment of freedom. Just one moment with Him changes everything. He is everything. And maybe that woman is you, today. if only you could just touch Him, you know you’d be free. & it’s so true. He’s wild for all of us, and I so believe He is stripping away everything that fades in this world that we find comfort in. So nothing in between us & Him remains. So we can just reach out and touch Jesus & experience His love & goodness & the freedom everyone of us craves. So that when everything else dies out, we still worship Him with our entire lives unashamed. to live everyday like it’s Sunday.

…for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You.. Psalms 9

rest

even in my darkest night, I’m confident in You. When I lie down I won’t be afraid, I’m confident in You. And I know that I’ll sleep so sweet, I’m confident in You.

You’re the hope that holds me, a stronghold to shelter me, the only God for me, my great confidence.

Even when the dawn comes and my enemy surrounds me, I will not be afraid. It’s when your arms wrap around me, I find rest in You.

You’re the hope that holds me, a stronghold to shelter me, the only God for me, my great confidence.

And in the midnight hour, I will fear no evil. And when the nights rages all around me, I will call on our glorious hero.

Peace be still, peace be still.

God sends angels with special orders to protect you wherever you go,
defending you from all harm.
If you walk into a trap, they’ll be there for you
and keep you from stumbling.
You’ll even walk unharmed among the fiercest powers of darkness,
trampling every one of them beneath your feet!
For here is what the Lord has spoken to me:
“Because you have delighted in me as my great lover,
I will greatly protect you.
I will set you in a high place, safe and secure before my face.
I will answer your cry for help every time you pray,
and you will find and feel my presence
even in your time of pressure and trouble.

Psalm91 TPT

so close to shore

I remember about 6 months ago I was listening to a message about arriving to what you are called to, and the journey in between before you get there. I can remember feeling frustrated and telling the Lord, “we are so far from shore.” In my heart it felt so far away, because all I could see were the hurdles it was going to take to get there. It felt like being in the boat, in the middle of the dark ocean, with big waves ready to consume us. So far from shore.

But reflecting back I know we were only following Jesus to the ocean. Never in any real danger as He calms the sea. I’m so thankful for the last 2 years of our lives. Though it felt like some kind of zig zag path, it felt like being lost at sea for a moment, sometimes longer. And the times the waves grew, and fear overcame, I even lost sight of His boat ahead of us. But even with little faith, He is always faithful to calm the wave that is ready to swallow us.

The Father is faithful even when we aren’t, but He is asking us to be faithful in return. And it can start off as a small mustard seed type faith, but when you water the seed and you give it the light it needs, its grows into a strong, faithful tree.

So we are able to get into the boat to follow Jesus, even if we do it afraid. Even if that means He changes our plans and our direction and the future we thought we knew looks so beautifully different. He’s so faithful.

And the water calms, and the morning sun comes out, and I see it all clearly now,

we are so close to shore.

There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!

Romans 5:3-5 MSG

(It’s so funny, and so like God, to remind me of mustard seed type faith over and over again throughout my life. I wrote this post earlier today, then this evening at my leadership class a woman I go to church with hands me a mustard seed inside a container with oil. She said, “just a reminder for you.” I told her how I have a mustard seed tattooed on my arm growing into a tree. And the way I had my grandmothers mustard seed in a glass container tied around my wedding bouquet 7 years ago. So thankful for this tonight.)

daughter

My husband & I were praying together the other night, and as he prayed he asked the Father for some things that were desires within us. I’m reading through a book that is making the scales fall off of my eyes. Why I am the way I am and why I view the Father for who He’s not as my Father.

The thing I have never trusted Father with is provision. And the other day after I read my book, I’m making dinner and it felt like the Holy Spirit literally downloaded the revelation of why I don’t go to the Father when I’m in need. I said out loud, “Holy crap!” And had to immediately write it all down. I’m realizing there’s always, always new levels of healing. And as it never gets easier, it’s always so worth it. The new levels of freedom He invites us to always come with a sense of relief and deeper intimacy and friendship with Jesus.

So as my husband was praying for the desires of my heart, he said, “God has been giving us the desires of our hearts. And I know this is a desire of your heart. And I think he’s going to keep His track record. ”

Something in those words moved me. There’s something about being a daughter that leaves you longing to be seen & known & loved & protected & pursued by a father. And I know that will always remain void with my earthly dad. But the Father continually reaches out to hold my hand, taking on that role of a strong dad. And so often He places spiritual father’s in our life to guide us along the way, if we receive them. I’m not an orphan and I know where my home is.

When you know you are really loved by a Father, it changes everything. Even if your earthly father isn’t present and you have no idea how to receive a Father, we have a Heavenly Father who created all things. Though He created the universe, His longing is to be so intimate with our hearts right here and now.

This is just too wonderful, too deep and incomprehensible! Your understanding of me brings me wonder and strength.

Psalm139:6